In memory of my mother and for my young friend
My mother’s name was also Rebecca. Rebecca Ruth. She was an amazing lady. No matter what was going on in my life from childhood all the way up to when I lost her in 2014, she could help my spirit rest by simply telling me that “It will be alright, son.” The reason her words held such power was that I believed them to be completely true no matter what the situation. No matter how big or small the issue, if she said it would be alright, even if I didn’t see how, I knew it would be. Now she abides in and speaks to my heart, but her purpose hasn’t changed. Her life, her memory serves as a powerful comfort.
Today, I want to say to you, “Rebecca, it will be alright. It will be alright.” That being said, your development and remedies are primarily a product of your efforts and beliefs. You possess within you everything you will ever need to live a happy life. A life of significance and great purpose. Your purpose isn’t something you arrive at. It is with you from the start. Your belief in yourself and the certainty of your purpose are the primary determinants and motivators. We ultimately do what we do and say what we say because we believe it is what needs to be done and what needs to be said at that time. That includes the setbacks and sidetracks.
Our futures aren’t mapped out celestially, in the lines on our hands, or preordained by lines from some dusty old text. Where we will go and what we will do is never written in stone. Free will allows for us to change direction at any step along our path. Basic understanding of expected outcomes can determine probable realities only as far as to give possibilities direction and to give us tools by which to alter our course (moving to or away from a desirable or undesirable outcome.) Something I am more fully realizing at the age of 47 is that it is NEVER TOO LATE. If you feel you are in a bad head space or physical space whether brought on by your words and actions or as the product of an environment out of your control, know this. Course adjustments are not signs of failure. They are evidence of learning and maturity. A new path should never be a source of shame. We do what we do based on what we know. When we know better, we do better. The only must is that we never give up on ourselves or life. Our only constant goal should be to be better than we were yesterday.
These words aren’t meant to issue a call to change, specifically. Where and who we are is always a product of our own design. Your best self may require no geographical relocation. Whether we are where we feel we need to be or not, the same effort and strong belief in ourselves is needed to fulfill our duty to be better. I leave you with three tools to help you along the way. When I think of what you can and will do, it makes me smile. When I think of what you have done, it makes me smile. You make me smile. Thank you for that.
Deep Breathing
4-7-8
Close your lips and inhale through your nose for a count of four. Hold your breath for a count of seven. Exhale completely through your mouth making a whoosh sound for a count of eight. This completes one cycle.
Grounding
Once you find your breath, go through the following steps to help ground yourself:
5: Acknowledge FIVE things you see around you. ...
4: Acknowledge FOUR things you can touch around you. ...
3: Acknowledge THREE things you hear. ...
2: Acknowledge TWO things you can smell. ...
1: Acknowledge ONE thing you can taste.
Mindfulness
Next time you find your mind racing with stress, try the acronym S.T.O.P.:
S – Stop what you are doing, put things down for a minute.
T – Take a breath. ...
O – Observe your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. ...
P – Proceed with something that will support you in the moment.
